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Wives on vacation

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We're human. Looking back, clearly, she was itching to spend some alone time with my wife. He took the phone back and proceeded to tell me there was more where that came from, and that his wife thought I was really hot.

The rules of man code immediately went racing through my drunken head. How do I respond to this? Is he crossing a line with me? Did I just cross a line with him seeing this picture?

To be honest, my curiosity was drunkenly piqued. So, I asked him what he was getting at. He continued to press that his wife was into me and that he thought my wife was very beautiful.

Then he laid it all out, explaining that the reason they asked us to come on vacation was to sleep with us.

Apparently, the hangover from the night before had stopped her from drinking much at the hotel, and it seemed like Kim didn't make her aware of the situation.

She heard my frantic tone and asked if I was OK. In that moment, I weighed telling her Joe's true intentions against letting this play out; we still had another two days to go on the trip.

Things could get all sorts of weird. Option three lurked as well: Grab my lady, head to the airport, and get out of dodge.

In my drunken state I shook my head and said, "Oh, I didn't realize that you guys were swingers.

I have already forgiven her for the act. It was all the extra that happened after that has me bothered.

Which brings me back to the open point, I was open to the idea, but I had laid out some ground rules that she did not want to follow, and when she committed the act she then hid it from me.

You are correct. Merely discussing the possibility of having a third party in the relationship while blizzard to me , in no way makes you responsible for her cheating.

The allegation that it makes you partly responsible is absurd, in my opinion. How anyone could reach that conclusion is baffling. You have forgiven the sex, now tell her that you are sorry for all the fuss you have made about her discussing her experience with friends.

So now that we are a week into this, we have been trying to work thru this, there is counseling scheduled soon that we are going to and we are frequently talking.

I still feel she is hiding things from me because she is allowing me to see her phone, but she is erasing messages and conversations.

She thinks these will hurt me, but I tell her that hiding it from me is hurting more. Am I wrong to feel betrayed by this? Well, it is normal to feel betrayed by the fact that she was not open about the relationship, as you stated that you expected her to discuss things before acting.

Still, as others have noted. The reason is that jealousy often ensues if one spouse shows too much interest in the other people they have sex with.

Also, there is a high percentage of situations where one spouse falls in love with the person they are having sex with. For example, your sexual exploits and hers prior to your commitment to each are none of her concern unless you choose otherwise.

And avoid any mewling, accusing, criticizing, and chastising i. A broken but stable home is far better for the kids that a hostile, dysfunctional loveless and mistrusting one.

Somehow I have conveyed that we were indeed in an open relationship, where in reality, I was toying with different ideas to make things more exciting.

I suppose you could say I was leading her on, but I did not expect this to happen, I did not feel that we had got there with our conversations yet.

This is screwing up my world outside my marriage, along with my marriage. There was a whole bunch of deception and lies that have come to light over the past week.

My wife played the people around her and me to get what she wanted, damn be the consequences. No, you know she is not trustworthy. Not sure how you could have any doubt.

And, no, discussing an open marriage did not cause this. It is a relatively easy distinction: discussing something as a possibility vs.

Your wife screwed up? You think? She has lied to you, minimized her PA and gaslighted you. Start a and see a lawyer.

At clubs and bars, nothing good is going to come out of it. Add in alcohol, and it never ends well.

This is a no-brainer out of sight out of mind as you have found out. Her girlfriends are no good. The majority of the time this never ends well.

She understands that if she partakes in any of this nonsense, I will no longer be her husband. Be an Alpha, not a Beta. Your wife runs you over because she knows she can.

Hence the childish messages to her girlfriends about you. Stand up your taller that way. The problem is here she had intended to do this whether you were on board with it or not as clearly she intended to deceive you about it so she could do it again.

Very few women can do this and just stop because they always get emotionally invested, whereas men are different; it can be just sex for a man.

If you want all the perks of Desire Riviera Maya with a bit less, er, stimulation, Desire Pearl might be more up your alley. The resort is also home to a huge variety of restaurants, most notably including She, which serves seven-course meals full of aphrodisiacs.

A typical day at Jamaica's three-star resort Hedonism II looks like this: naked water aerobics, mingling on the nude beach, lunch complete with multiple Jamaican desserts, naked pool games, socializing with cocktails in the pool, a sexy musical performance with dinner, getting naughty in the playroom, and chatting or more in the jacuzzi.

With this diverse mix, there is never a dull moment. It includes several couples' therapy sessions, and one is devoted to sex.

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At the time, it didn't even cross my mind that they had ulterior motives. Who doesn't love a vacation? Who cares that we don't know each other that well.

Life is all about adventure! But the first physical tell-tale sign of what was to come happened when I found myself trying to ignore the subtle footsies coming from our friend's wife.

Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about cheating:. As soon as we found ourselves all getting settled in, we put our swimsuits on and headed poolside to soak in some rays and sip a few mojitos.

That night, we hit the bars hard. We're human. Looking back, clearly, she was itching to spend some alone time with my wife. He took the phone back and proceeded to tell me there was more where that came from, and that his wife thought I was really hot.

The rules of man code immediately went racing through my drunken head. How do I respond to this? Is he crossing a line with me?

Did I just cross a line with him seeing this picture? To be honest, my curiosity was drunkenly piqued. So, I asked him what he was getting at.

He continued to press that his wife was into me and that he thought my wife was very beautiful. Then he laid it all out, explaining that the reason they asked us to come on vacation was to sleep with us.

Apparently, the hangover from the night before had stopped her from drinking much at the hotel, and it seemed like Kim didn't make her aware of the situation.

She heard my frantic tone and asked if I was OK. In that moment, I weighed telling her Joe's true intentions against letting this play out; we still had another two days to go on the trip.

Things could get all sorts of weird. Option three lurked as well: Grab my lady, head to the airport, and get out of dodge.

In my drunken state I shook my head and said, "Oh, I didn't realize that you guys were swingers. I'm flattered by the offer, but my wife and I aren't into that.

When she came home said it was fun, said she missed me and that she would not travel without me again. Fast forward to a couple of days ago, we get a new phone for her, and I am tasked with transferring all her info from the old one to the new one.

Found out she slept with a black man while she was on vacation. Lately, we had a sexual awakening of sorts and were exploring new things, and I had toyed with the idea of another partner for her and me as a sort of bucket list kind of thing, and she took this to mean that it was ok.

However, when she was away, she was sending me some messages alluding that she might do this, and I was not receptive to it because I was not ready, and I thought she understood.

But the messaging back and for to her girlfriends about it and doing it again is tearing me up. It may be some passive-aggressive slight because she feels you brought up the open relationship concept, and then when she did it, you became annoyed.

I do think a lot of men think it is ok for the man to have a new partner, but when the woman does, they can not handle it. Lastly, I think boys only or girls only vacations are a recipe for disaster unless you are truly ok with you and your wife being in an open relationship and having sex with other people.

As for the vacation, do not go with these friends. You will be too paranoid, given the messages you found. Do take the vacation together.

But go somewhere completely different and far from her lady friends. If the vacation has already been paid for, find another hotel far from those ladies and do not allow her to meet up with them.

I can empathize with your feelings of mistrust and embarrassment. Vacation excitement and feeling of freedom with these so-called friends made your wife open up a discussion with you about previously private conversations.

So do not take any share that you were to blame for initially opening up this area of exploration.

It is one thing discussing this at home between yourselves. It is quite another for her to discuss with friends on vacation [oh no doubt she did] to gain their support, encouragement, and silence.

She definitely cheated. So, do you want to live with a cheater? You really cannot ever fully trust her again.

Have you considered doing the same to her? It seems symmetrical, and she really would have no standing to object. Why should she bank such a wonderful experience while you have to be satisfied with just her?

You can spice up your marriage and sex life in so many ways, and a third sex mate is not one of them. Again the fact that she was discussing it with her friends hurts your ego even more.

Of course, she would discuss it with her friends! The weird part would be if she discussed it with you. Now you decide if you can forgive and carry on or forgive and let go.

The fact that you feel she needs your permission, and that you find it appropriate to identify the skin color of the guy she consorted with, tells me that you are a controlling, ego-centered marriage partner.

From my experience, I would say your marriage is doomed to failure. And your confessed interest in swinging tells me that you are not totally satisfied with the sexual aspect of your marriage.

The only difference at this point is that she is bold enough to act on it, and you are not so far.

Any marriage that would be adversely affected by open and mutually volunteered partner sharing is more than likely one that was doomed from the beginning.

But you should realize you are partly to blame in this case as you both discussed adding another person to your relationship.

What did you expect to happen if you have an open relationship? You need to accept the part you played in this. I have already forgiven her for the act.

It was all the extra that happened after that has me bothered. Which brings me back to the open point, I was open to the idea, but I had laid out some ground rules that she did not want to follow, and when she committed the act she then hid it from me.

You are correct. Merely discussing the possibility of having a third party in the relationship while blizzard to me , in no way makes you responsible for her cheating.

The allegation that it makes you partly responsible is absurd, in my opinion. How anyone could reach that conclusion is baffling. You have forgiven the sex, now tell her that you are sorry for all the fuss you have made about her discussing her experience with friends.

So now that we are a week into this, we have been trying to work thru this, there is counseling scheduled soon that we are going to and we are frequently talking.

I still feel she is hiding things from me because she is allowing me to see her phone, but she is erasing messages and conversations.

She thinks these will hurt me, but I tell her that hiding it from me is hurting more. Am I wrong to feel betrayed by this?

Well, it is normal to feel betrayed by the fact that she was not open about the relationship, as you stated that you expected her to discuss things before acting.

Still, as others have noted. The reason is that jealousy often ensues if one spouse shows too much interest in the other people they have sex with.

Also, there is a high percentage of situations where one spouse falls in love with the person they are having sex with. For example, your sexual exploits and hers prior to your commitment to each are none of her concern unless you choose otherwise.

And avoid any mewling, accusing, criticizing, and chastising i. A broken but stable home is far better for the kids that a hostile, dysfunctional loveless and mistrusting one.

Somehow I have conveyed that we were indeed in an open relationship, where in reality, I was toying with different ideas to make things more exciting.

I suppose you could say I was leading her on, but I did not expect this to happen, I did not feel that we had got there with our conversations yet.

This is screwing up my world outside my marriage, along with my marriage. There was a whole bunch of deception and lies that have come to light over the past week.

My wife played the people around her and me to get what she wanted, damn be the consequences. No, you know she is not trustworthy. Not sure how you could have any doubt.

And, no, discussing an open marriage did not cause this. It is a relatively easy distinction: discussing something as a possibility vs.

Your wife screwed up?

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